*BIG* impression

About 3 weeks ago, I was watching The Biggest Loser. My five year old daughter walked in the room and sat down on the couch. She watched it for about 2 minutes, and turned to me and said, "mommy, you should go on that show because you're fat like they are." I was a little surprised she came to that conclusion. I said to her, "You think I'm fat? How does that make you feel?" She lowered her head, and declared in a quiet voice, "it makes me embarrassed of you. But if you lost some pounds in your tummy, I wouldn't be so embarrassed of you anymore." I was SHOCKED. I wasn't shocked that my daughter could tell I was overweight, but rather I was shocked that a five year old could already feel embarrassed of her mother's figure. I don't remember ever noticing my mom's weight until I became a teenager. It just goes to show what an impression society is making on our children. I am sure I have a big role to play in it as well. She probably hears me complaining about the way I look. I never realized that her little ears were listening and processing all the negative comments I was making about myself.

Makenna is very tall for her age, and she is solid. However, I would not classify her the least big chunky or overweight. My younger sister has told me that she thinks Makenna will be overweight when she is an adult, and that she will struggle with her weight all her life. She said this right in front of Makenna! My sister is very tiny, and keeps a strict eating regimen. She thinks looks are a top priority. Her 6 year old son has now started weighing himself every day and watching what he eats, saying, "I don't want to gain any weight." That's not healthy for a child.

Our children look to us for guidance, love, and acceptance. What kind of self worth and respect are we teaching them when they hear us saying that we're not good enough? Do they then start to question if they are good enough? I want my daughter to learn confidence from me. I want her to know that she has more to offer than just her appearance.

I am still trying to get healthy. I think there is a difference between trying to be skinny and trying to be healthy. Yes, they usually go hand in hand, but I know thin people who are very unhealthy. I'm not willing to die to be thin. I don't want to die from being overweight either. I want to be fit, and feel energized, and happy about myself.
I have gone to the gym every day this week, and I have been eating a healthy diet. I feel great, and I look forward to every day, so I can do it again!